Confidence

I think Galahad is starting to get to me. No, seriously....

There's a subtle difference in the way I feel these days, and it carries over into the way I deal with others. For instance, lately I've been able to just speak my opinion in a discussion, without first weighing my words to decide if others would find them acceptable.

Not that I've lacked self-confidence, exactly, but I have always been conscious of wanting to please, whether or not I acted on that desire. Lately, though, that's less of a consideration. I have started to feel like I can safely just be myself and let the chips fall where they may.

It's kind of hard to describe, but I feel grounded in myself, capable, secure. I worry less about whether or not I'll be able to handle a given situation. I'm more assertive, and, yes, more confident.

It's a very good feeling, and it's the result of working with this horse, I'm convinced. Earning his respect and attention hasn't been easy, but it's rewarding, and worth every bit of effort that I put into it.

It just gets better, too, it seems. One day a couple of weeks ago I woke up realizing that I can, in fact, ride this horse safely. Of course there is risk involved, but I'll be able to handle pretty much anything he does. The more confident I feel, the better he behaves, because he picks up on my calm energy. And when he does misbehave or get spooked, I can get both of us out of the situation safely. What a confidence-builder that is!

Who knew this horse was going to be such an agent of change in my life!